dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
