SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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