What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
