I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
