Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
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i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
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All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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