i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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