I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
