why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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