I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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