you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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