Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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