she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
