i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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