After last night, I could never be a politician.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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