The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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