Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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