At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
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Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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