I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
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Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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