His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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