dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
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I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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