I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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