I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
