Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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