so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
