Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
