There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
