did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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