I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize