It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
