I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize