I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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