were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Say something about gay babies.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
