So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
