dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
