i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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