New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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