i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
