So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
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We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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