Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?

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(904): View more from Florida

my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"

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(812): View more from Indiana

The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.

(317): View more from Indiana

Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.

(812): View more from Indiana

Ah, my reputation precedes me.

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19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Read it at the TFLN blog
(307): View more from Wyoming

Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry

(1-307): View more from Wyoming

I'm hurrying

(307): View more from Wyoming

Dude. She just shit herself.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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(818): View more from California

You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance

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(312): View more from Illinois

It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.

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