our cab driver is having phone sex.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
