Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

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(570): remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident. http://tfl.nu/c1ns

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.

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(404): I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced. http://tfl.nu/ok17

Replies (23) Good night (4908) Bad night (441)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him

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(321): even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him http://tfl.nu/7qwv

Replies (19) Good night (1120) Bad night (4104) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

Wish you were here....

(734): View more from Michigan

And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?

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(734): Wish you were here.... (734): And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it? http://tfl.nu/j5nc

Replies (36) Good night (1904) Bad night (6804)
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(831): View more from California

It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night

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(831): It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night http://tfl.nu/8gcp

Replies (13) Good night (6138) Bad night (1423) Order T-Shirt
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(928): View more from Arizona

We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in

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(928): We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in http://tfl.nu/1vzn

Replies (17) Good night (6073) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

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(757): you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse' http://tfl.nu/umk4

Replies (18) Good night (9946) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.

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(203): Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end. http://tfl.nu/e1gy

Replies (56) Good night (8833) Bad night (1417) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.

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(508): He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me. http://tfl.nu/9xpz

Replies (21) Good night (846) Bad night (2876) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list

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(914): I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list http://tfl.nu/bjw0

Replies (18) Good night (4937) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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(708): View more from Illinois

My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.

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(708): My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase. http://tfl.nu/2212

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(541): View more from Oregon

he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.

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(541): he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life. http://tfl.nu/b77w

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(416): View more from Toronto

Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?

(613): View more from Ontario

you're kidding right?

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(416): Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow? (613): you're kidding right? http://tfl.nu/5c4n

Replies (9) Good night (2619) Bad night (413)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.

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(423): They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire. http://tfl.nu/4291

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(819): View more from Quebec

I have grass duct taped all over my body

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(819): I have grass duct taped all over my body http://tfl.nu/3nqm

Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt

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