Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask

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  (202): Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask http://tfl.nu/68m0
  Replies (8) Good night (1566) Bad night (447)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.

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  (248): My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla. http://tfl.nu/zjhc
  Replies (5) Good night (523) Bad night (2532)
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  (559): View more from California

  So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best

  (310): View more from California

  and??

  (559): View more from California

  Cake is only good when you eat it

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  (559): So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best (310): and?? (559): Cake is only good when you eat it http://tfl.nu/ifoq
  Replies (19) Good night (862) Bad night (4253)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

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  (602): I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol http://tfl.nu/1jiz
  Replies (21) Good night (1265) Bad night (5132)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  susan atkins died, charles manson's lady

  (312): View more from Illinois

  dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.

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  (708): susan atkins died, charles manson's lady (312): dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on. http://tfl.nu/8zd1
  Replies (11) Good night (803) Bad night (2436)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.

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  (717): Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag. http://tfl.nu/8k5h
  Replies (41) Good night (3239) Bad night (3033)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night

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  (214): My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night http://tfl.nu/co3c
  Replies (32) Good night (5536) Bad night (2522)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.

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  (910): Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days. http://tfl.nu/nw4c
  Replies (10) Good night (656) Bad night (4294)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  like it was yesterday

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  (240): Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra? (732): like it was yesterday http://tfl.nu/1org
  Replies (20) Good night (11634) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.

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  (619): You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer. http://tfl.nu/hqfv
  Replies (2) Good night (2083) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water

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  (604): every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water http://tfl.nu/5vey
  Replies (8) Good night (3228) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!

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  (604): Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now! http://tfl.nu/v05a
  Replies (7) Good night (1411) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.

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  (623): We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year. http://tfl.nu/kva9
  Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.

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  (512): My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes. http://tfl.nu/b90a
  Replies (1) Good night (1063) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.

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  (717): This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits. http://tfl.nu/qs9c
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (159)

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