I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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