Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
