You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
