His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
