She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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