i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize