I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
