there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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