Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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