yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
