i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I am one with the molecules
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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