I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
