I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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