I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
