question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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