We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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