PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
