Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
