You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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