How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So I just went to clothing optional bar
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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