He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
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I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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