Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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