We're like a lot better than the average bears
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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