Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
