idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
