Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
