I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
