dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize