Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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